Frequently asked questions

It's a structured reflection tool for people who are considering divorce but haven't made a decision yet. It walks you through your emotional state, safety situation, support network, financial picture, and how you're thinking about the decision — and gives you a personalized summary of where you are. It does not tell you what to do.

No. This tool has no opinion on what you should do. Its only job is to help you see your situation more clearly — what support you have, what gaps exist, and what concrete next steps might make sense given where you are right now. The decision is entirely yours.

If you've already decided to move forward with divorce, the Priority Intake is a better starting point. The 'Before you decide' tool is designed specifically for the period of uncertainty — when you're weighing the decision and want clarity before you act.

If you indicate that you may not be safe, the tool will surface safety resources immediately — including the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) and Crisis Text Line (text START to 88788). Your safety takes priority over anything else in this tool.

Breaking Upward is an AI-assisted tool that helps you understand your divorce before you sign anything. It helps you articulate what matters most, understand what legal language actually means, and catch what's been left out — so you can have better conversations with your attorney and make more informed decisions.

Breaking Upward was built by a nurse-midwife and sexual assault nurse examiner with a background in trauma-informed care and supporting people through high-stakes decisions. The tool is designed around the emotional and structural reality of divorce — not just the legal checklist. Learn more at breaking-upward.com.

No. Breaking Upward is not a law firm and does not provide legal advice. It helps you understand your situation, ask better questions, and recognize what you might be missing — but it does not replace an attorney. You should always consult a licensed attorney before making legal decisions.

The AI can explain legal language in plain English, identify structural risks in draft agreements, surface areas you may not have considered (retirement, tax implications, career gaps, health insurance continuity), and give you a clearer picture of your situation so you can ask better questions. It's built to help you think — not to decide for you.

The AI cannot give you legal advice, tell you what to agree to, predict what a judge would decide, or act as your attorney. It doesn't know the specific laws in your state in real time, and it can make mistakes. Treat everything it says as a starting point for conversation with a professional — not a final answer.

The AI is powered by Claude (Anthropic), one of the most capable large language models available. It is generally reliable for explaining concepts and identifying structural issues, but it can be wrong. It does not have access to case law, real-time legal updates, or your state's specific statutes. Always verify important information with an attorney.

In the current version of this tool, your answers live only in your browser's memory while your session is active. Nothing is saved to a database or a server. When you close the tab, your answers are gone. The only external system your data touches is the AI (Anthropic) when you request an analysis — and Anthropic does not use API inputs to train their models.

Private session mode confirms that nothing you enter is stored anywhere — not in a database, not in your browser's local storage, not in cookies. It's the default behavior of the tool right now, but the toggle makes it explicit. If you're on a shared device, we also recommend using a private or incognito browser window and clearing your history when you're done.

Because nothing is stored on our servers in the current version, there is nothing to subpoena from us. The only copy of your answers exists in your browser while your tab is open. We are building client-side encryption for future versions, which will ensure that even if server storage is added later, only you can decrypt your data.

No. Your data is never sold, shared with third parties, or used for advertising. The only external system that processes your data is Anthropic's API, which powers the AI analysis. Anthropic's policy prohibits using API data to train their models.

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. For confidential support, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233 (call or text), or chat at thehotline.org. You can also text START to 88788 to reach the Crisis Text Line. Breaking Upward automatically activates private session mode if you indicate you may not be safe — but your physical safety always comes first.

We've designed the tool with safety in mind. If you indicate you may not be safe, we activate private session mode automatically, display safety resources, and recommend using a private browser window. That said, no browser-based tool is completely risk-free if someone else has access to your device. Clear your browser history after use and consider using an incognito window.