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Divorce Essentials Triage Checklist

Sort by priority. Set a timeline. Move forward at a steady pace — not everything at once.

"Triage" is borrowed from healthcare — it means sorting by priority. When things feel overwhelming, the key is to tackle what's urgent first, then move toward the steps that set you up for the long run.

How to use this

1. Set a priority number for each item — what needs to happen first?
2. Add a realistic due date. Progress over perfection.
3. Check items off as you complete them.

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Item#Due date

Marriage license & prenuptial agreement (if applicable)

Priority #

Due

Marriage license & prenuptial agreement (if applicable)

Birth certificates, passports, & IDs (yours & children's)

Priority #

Due

Birth certificates, passports, & IDs (yours & children's)

Social security cards

Priority #

Due

Social security cards

Tax returns (last 2–3 years)

Priority #

Due

Tax returns (last 2–3 years)

Pay stubs / proof of income (yours & spouse's)

Priority #

Due

Pay stubs / proof of income (yours & spouse's)

Bank statements (checking, savings, joint & separate)

Priority #

Due

Bank statements (checking, savings, joint & separate)

Retirement account statements (401k, IRA, pensions)

Priority #

Due

Retirement account statements (401k, IRA, pensions)

Mortgage or lease agreements

Priority #

Due

Mortgage or lease agreements

Property deeds & titles (cars, home, investments)

Priority #

Due

Property deeds & titles (cars, home, investments)

Insurance policies (health, auto, life, homeowners/renters)

Priority #

Due

Insurance policies (health, auto, life, homeowners/renters)

Credit card statements & loan agreements

Priority #

Due

Credit card statements & loan agreements

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Item#Due date

List all financial accounts (bank, credit, retirement, brokerage)

Priority #

Due

List all financial accounts (bank, credit, retirement, brokerage)

Update or change passwords you don't feel safe with

Priority #

Due

Update or change passwords you don't feel safe with

Open your own checking account (your name only)

Priority #

Due

Open your own checking account (your name only)

Start a simple budget for expected income/expenses post-divorce

Priority #

Due

Start a simple budget for expected income/expenses post-divorce

Gather documentation of household bills & recurring payments

Priority #

Due

Gather documentation of household bills & recurring payments

Check your credit report (know what's in your name or joint)

Priority #

Due

Check your credit report (know what's in your name or joint)

Close or separate joint credit cards (or freeze to prevent new charges)

Priority #

Due

Close or separate joint credit cards (or freeze to prevent new charges)

Change direct deposit if paychecks go to a joint account

Priority #

Due

Change direct deposit if paychecks go to a joint account

Track childcare, medical, or household expenses relevant to support/alimony discussions

Priority #

Due

Track childcare, medical, or household expenses relevant to support/alimony discussions

Consider a financial advisor/CPA consult (even a one-time call) for tax impacts and future planning

Priority #

Due

Consider a financial advisor/CPA consult (even a one-time call) for tax impacts and future planning

Start an emergency fund, even if small (your own safety net)

Priority #

Due

Start an emergency fund, even if small (your own safety net)

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Item#Due date

Assess current living arrangements (short-term plan)

Priority #

Due

Assess current living arrangements (short-term plan)

Research long-term housing options

Priority #

Due

Research long-term housing options

Update mailing address (or plan for when you'll need to)

Priority #

Due

Update mailing address (or plan for when you'll need to)

Make a list of utilities & service providers (internet, phone, electric, etc.)

Priority #

Due

Make a list of utilities & service providers (internet, phone, electric, etc.)

Change locks / update security codes if/when living arrangements shift

Priority #

Due

Change locks / update security codes if/when living arrangements shift

Set up PO Box or forwarding address for sensitive mail

Priority #

Due

Set up PO Box or forwarding address for sensitive mail

Update your driver's license / ID once address changes

Priority #

Due

Update your driver's license / ID once address changes

Identify backup childcare or emergency contacts if parenting solo

Priority #

Due

Identify backup childcare or emergency contacts if parenting solo

Document household inventory (photos/videos of valuables, furniture, etc.)

Priority #

Due

Document household inventory (photos/videos of valuables, furniture, etc.)

Update subscriptions and accounts (Amazon, Netflix, cell phone plan) to your own payment info

Priority #

Due

Update subscriptions and accounts (Amazon, Netflix, cell phone plan) to your own payment info

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Item#Due date

Identify your “safe people” — friends, family, therapist, or support group you can lean on without judgment

Priority #

Due

Identify your “safe people” — friends, family, therapist, or support group you can lean on without judgment

Schedule one non-negotiable self-care activity per week (walk, yoga, journaling, therapy, book, meditation)

Priority #

Due

Schedule one non-negotiable self-care activity per week (walk, yoga, journaling, therapy, book, meditation)

Make a list of grounding tools that work for you (deep breathing, music, movement, prayer/meditation, creative outlet)

Priority #

Due

Make a list of grounding tools that work for you (deep breathing, music, movement, prayer/meditation, creative outlet)

Consider a therapist, divorce support group, or trusted professional to talk through emotions and decisions

Priority #

Due

Consider a therapist, divorce support group, or trusted professional to talk through emotions and decisions

Track your sleep, movement, and meals — stress often shows up in your body before you notice it in your mind

Priority #

Due

Track your sleep, movement, and meals — stress often shows up in your body before you notice it in your mind

Practice setting one small boundary per day (say no, delay a response, or carve 30 minutes for yourself)

Priority #

Due

Practice setting one small boundary per day (say no, delay a response, or carve 30 minutes for yourself)

Limit exposure to negativity (social media, toxic conversations) during high-stress days

Priority #

Due

Limit exposure to negativity (social media, toxic conversations) during high-stress days

Write down one thing daily that reminds you: you are more than your divorce

Priority #

Due

Write down one thing daily that reminds you: you are more than your divorce

Plan a simple way to mark milestones — first court filing, first week living separately (small celebrations matter)

Priority #

Due

Plan a simple way to mark milestones — first court filing, first week living separately (small celebrations matter)

Want to talk through what this means?

Book a free 15-minute consult with Rachel — a nurse-midwife and divorce navigator who built this tool.

Book a free consult →

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